Posts in Sculpture
Here Comes The Sun King

Made this lil’ guy for Donkey Skin! NOTE: In case you’re unaware, “Donkey Skin” is the title/subject of the upcoming Scholarly Banana book. I don’t know anyone named Donkey Skin, if that’s where your mind went. But, to be fair, donkeyskin was Ben’s Xbox Live ID back in the early aughts! That was excellent.

Anyway, this thing is a riff on the emblem of King Louis XIV of France, aka The Sun King. Until this afternoon, I’ve been keeping the central piece in an old plastic bin, held together with Blu Tack and Glue Dots. (I don’t like “finishing” my book sculptures in case I want to repurpose or rearrange pieces down the line. I’m equal parts cheap and lazy.) But I really like this one! And I would be sad if little Louis broke, which he 100% definitely would if I left him to get crushed in that bin. So I peeled off the temporary glue, finished it with actual glue, framed it with another forgotten sculpture that was also destined for breakage, and displayed the thing on the wall like some world-class art collector who needs to free up bin space.

Made with Super Sculpey, cardstock, craft acrylics, metallic pigments, and craft sticks. And for a while, Blu Tack and Glue Dots.

Instruction Manual Not Included

I made two miniature Foreigner Belts in bracelet and pin form! I have zero experience making bracelets, so like a good little crafter, I began by overwhelming myself with online tutorials and detailed instructions to become the best beginner bracelet-maker/leather-cutter/clay-gluer/Aqua Teen Hunger Force disciple in the galaxy. But ultimately, I decided against that. As an angry fat man once said, “I don’t need no instructions to know how to rock!”

Sneak King Nutcracker

Honoring the Great Creeper himself, Sneak King! Made this guy with an $8 Walmart nutcracker, polymer clay, printed copy paper, canvas sheets, sparkly ribbons, some teeny tiny Swarovski crystals that I kept super-glueing to my hands, aluminium foil, craft acrylics, and tons and tons and tons of sealer. I am pleased to report that his nutcracker jaw is still functional—an essential detail for His Flame-Broiled Highness.